The Unseen Laws Between Us

When we began studying Labor Law in the Organizational Psychology program, we started with a fundamental question: what is law itself? One of the cases we discussed in class left a strong impression on me. I can’t recall the exact example, but I’d like to share a similar one—not for accuracy, but to help illustrate the core message of this post.

The Law: Must It Be Created or Discovered?

A hypothetic spaceshift case

Let’s imagine: A spaceship lands on a faraway planet. There’s limited contact with Earth. But the crew is not alone. This planet is strange. And it has its own habitants—aliens. Humans and aliens do not share a language. They don’t share rules. They don’t share the same understanding of what is private, what is fair, or who should lead. The laws, regulations, institutions—everything that worked on Earth—doesn’t work here. Especially not between humans and aliens. There are no clear boundaries or borders here. No shared systems. Just the unknown. 

• The Earth rules don’t really help.

• The creatures don’t know them.

• The planet doesn’t follow them.

• And even between the people, things start to feel… different.

The crew must now figure out new ways to live, to talk, to stay safe.

Now they must ask: What matters more—the rules from Earth, or the trust between them? Can they build something new together? And if someone breaks that new trust—who suffers?

Just like in the Alien franchise… isn’t it? But this story is not about aliens. Or even rules, laws.

This is about us...

De Jure and De Facto

De facto (Latin: "in fact") refers to what actually happens in practice—informal norms, behaviors, or realities that may exist even if not officially acknowledged.

De jure (Latin: "by law") refers to rules or laws that are officially established and written down—legal, formal, and recognized by institutions.

Often, de facto comes first. A behavior, a silent agreement, an unspoken truth. People follow it—not because it’s written, but because it works. And then, only later, it becomes de jure—declared, written, recognized as law.

What we live first, we later legalize.

The guiding principles of all law did not come from the willful choice of man, but from the principles of justice, which are universal and can be discovered only by proper consciousness. (Hugo Grocius)

Curiosity to Discover the New

Curiosity begins the moment we recognize that the new is not just a copy of the past. An alien, a stranger, a new experience—it might echo something familiar, but it carries a difference we cannot ignore.

• What is happening between us?

• Inside me? With him or her?

• What works best between us?

• What hurts or heals me, him/her, us?

Many questions accompany us as we slowly begin to see the de facto laws forming between us—rules born not from theory, but from experience.

And one day, these silent understandings may be declared, named, and recognized—becoming de jure.

But wait!

In the end, what we’re left with may not be established laws, or even the process of discovery. It’s something simpler: Life itself. Isn’t it?

When we meet something new, when our boundaries are tested, when we lose or win, feel joy or sadness, get surprised, angry, worried, or simply tired— there is still life happening through it all.

A life between us.

What about chosing to live the moment rather than only following the rules and/or discovering something? What about feeling alive? What about the life?

Hope when the moment comes, you'll say; ... "I swear I lived." (One Republic)

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Visual art: "Als du gestern bei mir gewesen bist" by Marcell Davids.