Me and Uncertainty: Making Life Decisions

Sometimes life forces us to face challenges that require decisions. We may not face them often, but we still encounter situations where questions arise: "What should I do? How to exist?" In this work, I will try to delve into the process of searching and reflecting, and perhaps help both myself and you find answers to many questions.

In Azerbaijani, there is a well-known phrase-question:

'What is better: a distant relative or a close neighbor?'

In this example, the neighbor turns out to be more of a stranger than a relative. However, circumstances can change a lot, and that is why such a question arises.

Life is far from ideal or clear expectations, which sometimes leads to feelings of pain. But it's almost impossible to escape reality, isn't it? That's why sometimes it's worth reevaluating our relationships, circumstances, expectations, desires, opportunities, and values. In other words, we need to simplify life.

"BALI 2022" by Polina Washington

I would rephrase this question from Azerbaijani as follows:

'What is better: an old friend who is on the faraway side of the world, or a new enemy who is here and now?'

Robert Greene, in his book The 33 Strategies of War (Greene & Elffers, 2007), touches on the theme of friendship and hostility. He gives an interesting example: Understand: the word “enemy”—from the Latin inimicus, “not a friend”. This perception, where friend and not-friend coexists, remind me of the concept of the “other” and the “alien”, which I have already written about in my blog, referencing the movie Alien. Recently, I also heard a sample expression “One of your own — not your own”. It can be expressed in different ways, but the meaning stays the same.

Alien: Understanding the Other Side

It is also important to understand what "here and now" means. For example:

• How should we understand the word "here"? Is it about here, on planet Earth, or here, in the country of Lithuania? Here, in the city of Vilnius, or here, in this room?

• And how should we interpret the word "now"? Is it about this year, this month, this week? Or is it about the time from a week ago to today, and the week ahead? What is your understanding of "now"?

Life changes are a kind of necessity to confront facts: marriage, divorce, relocation, migration, loss, falling in love, and many other things—these often become moments of truth. They force us to draw conclusions, make decisions, and take responsibility. This requires action, although sometimes action may also include conscious inaction.

It is important to remember: Enlightenment is not yet a solution. Exploring different perspectives is certainly valuable, especially for fostering empathy and mutual understanding. However, a decision begins with a shared goal or a desire for something. This, in turn, raises the question: "What do I want?" and then: "What can I do to achieve this?"

The outcome always comes down to action. If advice is needed, it sounds like this: "Act!" Although it's not really advice, but a fact, because you are already acting, even when you are doing nothing.

References

Greene, R., & Elffers, J. (2007). The 33 strategies of war. Penguin.

Грин, Р. (2015). 33 стратегии войны (Vol. 2). РИПОЛ классик.

Washington, P. (2022). BALI 2022 [Photograph].