Last Call for Justice: What Is It Like to Be a Man?

"The Fallen Angel" by Alexandre Cabanel

What is it like to be a man? This question came to my mind when I started hearing things like "brave," "masculine," "warrior-like," "strong," and so on, about myself.

If we divide it into two types, men can be:

• Those who talk a lot about manliness and strive to teach a woman how to be a woman.

• And those who already embody manliness, with whom a woman simply remains herself — a woman.

But since society is more diverse than just two types, there are also those who are lost, confused, hidden, in the wrong circumstances, and so on. It is difficult to remain a woman next to them, but still possible, even if only to some extent.

An interesting parallel comes to my mind from a fairy tale from my childhood.

The Sun and The Wind

Once, the Wind began boasting in front of the Sun:

— I am stronger than you. Look, if I want, I can make this old man take off his coat.

The Wind said this and started to blow. Then it turned into a storm. But instead of taking off his coat, the old man held it tighter around himself. The Sun smiled and said:

— You couldn’t do it.

Then The Sun came out from behind the clouds where it was hiding. With a single smile, it warmed everything. The old man took off his coat and began walking happily. The Sun’s final words to the Wind were:

— Remember, love is always superior to brute force; what you can’t achieve with strength, you can accomplish with love...

"Love" in this example can also be understood as mercy, politeness, tenderness, etc. in contrast to violent approach of The Wind.

What is your woman power?

“What is your woman power?” — this was the question posed by one of the best psychotherapists in Latvia, to which I wasn't ready to respond. But this question stayed with me for a long time. I had to observe fresh experiences to notice the answer hidden under the shadow of chaos and lostness, that is, in uncertainty.

And then, with the last tear drop, in my thoughts, the long-awaited answer gleamed like a bright light:

— What kind of a male question is this? Why do I need strength if I am a woman and I am the strength itself? Do men who fight for their homeland call it ‘the motherland’? Or have they forgotten that the Trojan War began because of a woman — Helen, and ended because of a woman — Polyxena? So here it is, I am a Woman, and I am strength, the power, the wealth, for which men are forced to fight, compete, and strive to achieve.

... But they still need to earn that.

Shame for Courage

As a woman who heard praise about bravery, manliness, honesty, and so on, I never felt happy for a single moment. Instead, I always felt embarrassed, experiencing pain and injustice. Until that day when, once, that bright piece of advice was spoken.

A Father's Advice to His Daughter

Sweetheart! Remember this: if ever you need to show strictness or courage, if you hear your own shout or curses in the presence of men, let it not be you who feels ashamed, but the men present — for putting you in such a situation.

"The Fallen Angel" by Alexandre Cabanel

The Fallen Angel

If we draw a parallel with a woman, a foreigner, an "other" who has joined a community, then, unlike other depictions of the fallen angel, "The Fallen Angel" by Alexandre Cabanel deeply touches my heart.

The fallen angel, as an archetype, represents the other side of the evaluating society. People tend to discriminate, ignore, or harm newcomers, not realizing how their actions can cause harm.

The sorrowful, accusing eyes of Cabanel's Fallen Angel carry the weight of injustice, while the angel's tears remind us of the pearly innocent sparkle that once filled her gaze.

- What is the Devil? - The cause of all betrayals... - And what is a person who betrays everyone? - The Devil! Huseyn Javid, “The Devil” (an Azerbaijani verse play)

What is it like to be a man?

I have witnessed many instances where people observe events happening here and now, finding thousands of justifications for not taking an iniciative and/or responsibility, where their inappropriate silence normalizes injustice.

I would like to pose a question to men in the context of injustice toward women, as well as to everyone else in a parallel context — to women, parents, locals, foreigners, newcomers, and so on:

— What is it like to be a man when, in your presence, a woman is forced to surpass her femininity? What is it like to watch as a woman has to fight, struggle, take the initiative, scream, feel threatened, be scared, cry, and break down? What is it like to be a man?

Either Justice or the End

I want to share an updated version of the song from the second album of Dəyirman called "Ya Qarabağ, ya ölüm," released in 1999. The lyrics of this song have become a part of our generation — all Azerbaijanis know them, from children to the elderly, sometimes even better than the words of the national anthem.

Karabakh, in addition to being a legally and factually restored part of Azerbaijan, as an archetype symbolizes the lost honor and injustice for Azerbaijanis, which was restored in 2020. It is a value for which, if necessary, they are ready to face death (in other words, the end of participation, the end of history, or relationships) in the struggle.

The main slogan of the rap states: "Either Karabakh or death — there is no other way..."

A Beautiful Lie

Inspired by one of the favourite songs of my playlist, A Beautiful Lie by Thirty Seconds to Mars, I want to reflect on the idea that witnessing, studying, or observing events does not exclude us from participation in the creation or destruction of justice. Especially while we are here and now, as the only active participants in the present moment, it is a beautiful lie and the perfect denial to claim that "it is someone else's responsibility," or "I have nothing to do with it." Such statements are a way of distancing ourselves from our role, but the truth is that we all contribute to the outcome, whether we act or inaction.